Dragging Feet ...

Stalling for time before I go to class. In the computer lab, second floor, a few feet away from awkwardness. Oh, who am I kidding? I feel awkward a lot of the time.  

I saw only one student in the classroom, that's another reason I'm stalling. 

The pressure is much more lifted, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Got one more class and two stories to turn in. 

I haven't eaten anything today. Just an Americano and Mtn Dew. Why is it spelt like that? In Cali, it's Mountain Dew. Now I'm seeing Mtn all over the place.

Yeah, that's a really stupid thing to blog about.

Now I'm just babbling, and that's never good because is going to be said that shouldn't. 

Going now!

Burned Bridges

I was IMing a friend last night about burned bridges. He and I dated briefly, then tried to be friends. Quite a few times we swore off on each other for oh-so many various reasons. We still talk after four years.
I asked him how we remained friends through all of it.
He said determination and perseverance ... or something like that.
I think we've such good friends right now is because we both moved far away from home for college and are going through similar experiences.

I'm usually not that person who remains friends after fights. I recently stopped talking to two other friends, one I knew for six years and another I knew briefly. Maybe I shouldn't be that way, but I wait until a tremendous pile of crap is made before I finally say, No more!
Maybe I shouldn't wait. Still, the crap piles up.
I'm in such a precarious position in life right now that I can only afford to make so many mistakes repeatedly. At least that seems to be my reason.

I guess I'm just amazed at how many bridges I've burned. Lordy lord.
And have no more ponderous on the matter.

Except that I've put a lot of "p" words in this entry.
Now I want to recite "Peter Piper," but will refrain.

Took A Chance ...

And yes, it involves a guy.
Every six months or so, I get the urge to take a chance on a guy. How does it go? Well, I've been single for three years.
There have been some guys that were interested, but I didn't return the favor. I'm not a total loss and I don't want to settle.
So I took a chance and the guy is already taken, but he appreciated my boldness. Still not sure how to take that except as a compliment.
I've basically been bi-polar about my action. Sometimes I think it is a good thing to be bold and take a chance. Then other times I wonder why I put myself out there like that. I mean, I've run into some assholes and have I got stories about them!
I guess I also realized that I have my guard up most of the time. That I give off the "Mind Your Own" vibe. And it takes awhile before I let that vibe calm down and bother with my looks again. It's such a long while because I forgot why I have that vibe up. It's what I attract when the vibe isn't there that brings the vibe right back: weirdos, pervs and nerds.
Sorry, but it's gotta be said.
And I have no right to lament that NO ONE asks me out. How can they when I have that vibe? When I let it down just long enough to take another chance and then shields are activated again.

So it's occurred to me that maybe I should be aware, but not self-cornered. I can take a chance on a guy but I can't allow chances to be made?
I sense some change here ...
And does anyone else have that Abba song in their head? I apologize.

Rain

It's been raining so much that I'm surprised Baltimore isn't a pool already. It kinda panics me, in a very silly way. But I'm from California, so give me a break.

I do like the rain, though, when I can get over my semi-fright. It's what I had wanted London to be like when I went in the summer of '07. Instead of fog and rain, I got a deep suntan.
A suntan, in London, when normally I manage to stay out of the sun in California.

Awhile back, I bought a huge sturdy umbrella because in one week I had ruined two small umbrellas to the Baltimore rain and wind (one of those umbrellas had been bought in London, for one day of rain). I was waiting at the Johns Hopkins stop, berating myself for working one last day at the Career Center when I could've stayed in, and the rain beat down. And when I say beat down, I mean beat down.
A young man standing next to me was hunched over, trying to keep warm in his hoodie. He wasn't much taller then me (5'1) and he was extremely lithe. I noticed he wore a wedding ring.
So dare I offer?
I became more anxious before the rain really pounded and the shuttle wasn't in sight.
He became more soaked and hunched over.
Finally, I took a few steps and asked, "Do you want to share until the bus comes?"
What could it hurt? The guy looked miserable. And cute. With a huge gold ring on that ring finger.
"Yes, thank you," he said immediately.
"Did you forget your umbrella?"
"Umm, no. I actually don't have one."
And dumb.
It wasn't much longer that the shuttle finally arrived and he thanked me again.
"No problem," I said. " I just wish I had asked sooner."

Sharing is Caring!
I will consider sharing my umbrella more often.

why won't that damn creamcatcher work?

I'm playing catch-up on my blogs (*wrist slap*) and looking over April I think I wrote a lot about dreams. So I'll write about some recent doosies I've had.

Since I've moved here, it's becoming a usual thing to find myself in mid-yell while waking up from a nightmare. I'll finish the word that I started saying in the dream. In these last two dreams, the word was "Mom."

I hate it when the nightmare involves my dog because of how guilty I'd feel, since I dragged her all the way out to the East Coast. In this nightmare, she ran out of the apartment and into the street. My parents were visiting at the time and my mom was closest to catching Gizzy, so I called out "Mom!" Another thing I had in nightmares is that I freeze; I don't move from fright, which is one of the stupidest things to happen! So I stand there and watch my mom chasing Gizzy, except Gizzy is too fast and she gets hit by a car, brown and white fur flying through the air while blood spurts. She lands on the ground and tries to walk, but her leg is obvious broken. I have the thought that maybe she'll be okay, we just gotta get her to a vet, and I shout "Mom" again.
Waking up, I'm still shouting "Mom" and Gizzy has her face very close to mine with her paws on my chest. What a site to wake up to.

The other dream ended with me getting cut in the arm by some sharp plant and tons of dark red blood oozing out and all over the place. I try to keep quiet but there's so much blood that I finally have to shout for my mom.

So gory, so gory.

Confession

I have a confession: I didn't go to the poetry reading.

I'd like to go further into why I didn't, but all I can say for right now are keys, my dog, paranoia and just being plain exhausted.
So many stupid things happen and pile up and then there's the matter of dealing with it all.
Seriously.

But about the poetry reading, I'm not going to lie and say I went, though I already did research on the guy and know for a fact that the room at his reading was pretty full, thereby no one would know if I was there or not.
I just don't want to lie. Lies are some of the few things I can't stand at all.

Plus, I find it hard to sit through poetry readings. I know I should support them nonetheless, and usually do. But that day had already been impossibly hard for me.
Not excusing myself, just giving a reason.

So now I feel better about it!

She asked.

She asked the question out of frustration and a little anger, while on the phone thousands of miles away.
"How much longer are you going to stay out there?"
I thought I'd finish up with school ASAP, and I hadn't counted on the economy turning so terrible. Meaning full-time work and part-time school. Meaning out on the East Coast for a few more years.
The situation isn't like a friend of mine had, whereas she moved from SoCali to Chicago to get over a boy, and then have that story morph into leaving because she needed to "find herself" and grow up.
I'm here and I know it. I've tried to take responsibility, even when it wasn't mine to take (really need to stop doing that). So I moved thousands of miles away just to push myself, testing how strong I still can be.
Oh boy, has that been tested.

But what else is there? The writing. That's another biggie to realize. Why I came out so far from home. I've been so strangely numb to writing that it's been tough going.
It's getting better, though. Gotta sit my ass in a chair and type until I have 500 words, but it's worked so far.
Not so afraid of it, anymore.

I'm reminded of a Smiths song, "How Soon Is Now?" That's what my life was like back home. It wasn't going anywhere. So I moved.
And now here I am.

New News

I got the job! That's very good news because 1) I need a full-time job and 2) kinda need health benefits. In this economy, I somehow pulled it off.
Well, I still don't know how much I make, but I'm guessing it can't be that bad.

Secondly, I don't know where I'm going to live or when. I thought I knew, but alas, everything has once again been tossed up in the air. I don't know if I should buy a car and ride out the hell-hole apartment until the lease is up in July or move within walking distance of my work and hold off on a car. Or do both.
I think I'm getting the car. My SoCali genes want to drive again so bad!

I was really depressed over the weekend, to the point where the nightmares were terrible. It's amazing that I feel as well as I do now.
I guess it's because I've taken a lot of chances since moving to Baltimore. The end of my first year in grad school will be up.
A lot has happened.

Never Ask That Question

And the question is, Can it get any worse?
The answer will probably always be, YES!
So don't ask it, don't ever go there.

This can apply to the weather today, or the plentiful horrible events that took place just this morning, one of which involved me cleaning my apartment again because it was going to be looked at by another person and another was Gizmo getting out of the yard and trying to bite a neighbor. I was still in pjs with a jacket thrown on when I had to run through the huge hole in the fence to get her. Needless to say, I was not happy with her. I had another nightmare about her during the night, of her running from me and getting hit by a car.

Something has got to change, and for the better.

I forced myself to sit at the computer until I typed out 500 words. What was written wasn't all that bad. It is possible for me to write again.

P.S. Who mails keys to the apartment they belong to? Let's leave it at a rhetorical question.

Arg.

I had the interview yesterday, and I find out by the end of next week what's up. I had to take those stupid damned skills tests, and I always do lousy on them, I don't know why. The first two women to interview me liked me and wanted me to meet the two higher bosses, but I had to take the test first. I still met them, but the only thing they said about the test was, Well, you finished fast.
Thanks, dude.
Arg! I need a job, bad. I intend on hitting the job sites again, just not right now. I gotta get some writing done, big time. It's been so hard to write ...

I had my apartment looked at today. I was told it would be between 11 to noon, so I took my dog for a long walk and came back. Then I get a knock on my backdoor at 12:15. WTH? So Gizmo and I went for another walk awhile they looked around. I just didn't want to be there when strangers stroll about my place. I hope someone picks up on the place soon so I don't have to have people roaming in and out anymore. What if Gizmo runs out during one of those times? Again, arg.

I had a nice time hanging out with friends on Thursday. I should do that more often.

I keep wondering if I should keep Gizmo with me or send her home with my parents. I'm starting to feel a little selfish, but I know I would cry like a baby if she leaves. I think I would know how my mom felt! Karma.
Speaking of Karma, I finished My Name is Earl. I think it's time to brave The Wire. So what if I still have nightmares after reading The Road? I'll counter it with The Audacity of Hope.
Yes, that sounds lovely.

Yuck (at the moment)

It is safe to state that I'm bored out of my mind.
Just thought I'd get that out of the way.
I worked a little on my EP project yesterday. I've totally revamped the whole thing, but isn't that how it happens? The star of the show will be my dog. Yes. I looked at all her toys and how she chews them up, so the story is going to be about two little dog dolls who fall down a hole and meet the other lost tore-up dolls. There are going to be some action scenes.
I had to change everything because, in my mind, I was going overboard already with trying to make a horror movie. Props, scenes, set-ups: I started to tally the costs and realized that I had to work with what I already have, which is a lot in my apartment, actually. I figured out how to use my digital camera, so this project is going to be a mixture of live action and still photos. Which reminds me, I gotta get a book about iMovie from the library. Last I checked, there hadn't been one.
And music! I gotta figure out what music to put in, let alone what songs. And how to record voice-overs.
Oh boy.

I'm writing s@#t, apparently ...

Mkay, here's the good news of the day:
I got an In-Person Interview with that job I've been looking into!!
WOOT! WOOT!
Yeah, I felt so bad when I didn't get the call on the days the employer said she would call back that I didn't even call my parents that night.
But she called back and, YAY!

So I felt so good about that news that I thought it okay to finally take a look at my fiction critique.
Instant downslide.
Now, I'm not stupid and I knew they would be very critical, especially because I hadn't even made it to my own workshop. The story was only half a story and something experiemental.
Still ... If ever I needed a thick skin, now would be about it.
It's been so hard to write lately. I thought since moving and since there have been so many emotional trials, I'd have enough fodder for the imagination.
Nope.
Anyhoo, I gotta do something about this story, because I do like it.
*sigh*

I woke up ...

... this morning and don't feel like my head is split open! Yay. I thought I'd stay forever with these allergies, but there just might be an ending ... for now.

I'm rather disappointed because I didn't get a call back from that phone interview. I was really looking forward to that. As always, I had elaborate plans already in my head. D'oh.
On the upside, I got a big check (won't say how much) from UB. Still unsure as to why, but it's mine, by golly!

Time feels like it's slowed down so much. Last weekend, I slept for most of the time. Considering all the drama that keeps happening, I can't say I blame myself for taking the much needed rest.
But no lallygagging this weekend. No sir.

It Happened Again

It rained on my head while walking home from the market.
I had to pick up a prescription, so I had no choice but to go. I didn't really sleep last night; at one point, I discovered Gizmo curled up on the furthest part of my bed and I'm guessing that's because I kept tossing and turning around. I didn't even bother to look at the clock.
Still not sure if it's allergies or if I'm actually sick. Wish I knew so I could take the right medication. Walking in the rain hasn't helped. Oh well.

It's really coming down now. Guess it could've been worse for me.

Can't sleep ...

... despite the Tylenol PM. Not good.

Today was wasted by a powerful sinus takeover. I didn't even go to the market. Bleh. The last time I went to the market it rained on me, and if I go tomorrow (as planned) it will rain on me again.

Good news, though. I had a phone interview on Friday. I've been filling out applications left and right and out of the blue I get a phone interview. Hopefully, she'll call me back and I'll get an in-person interview. Yay!
This job is in East Harbor, though. Kinda out of the way for someone who doesn't have a car.
Oh well. One step at a time.

Saw Religulous. Basically, it recommends everyone becoming atheists for the sake of humanity before we all kill each other. It paired strangely well with finishing The Road.

Okay, gonna make another go at this "sleeping" thing ...

Weak Week

All this week my bedtime seemed to be 3 AM. Why this was, I haven't a clue.
It's also been a week of disappointments. Why list them now, though?

I started reading The Road, exactly what I need right now. *insert sarcasm* I think I shall counteract it with starting the third season of My Name is Earl.

Got my renewal lease for my apartment and I have to respond by April 10th. It is scary to think about moving again. Always that eternal question of, Am I making the right choice?
I'm sick of questioning all the time. Perhaps I should stop it.

Anyhoo, I should get back to writing. I volunteered to turn in something to fiction workshop and remembered last night that yeah, I have to turn in something!
I'm amazed at how little I've been writing since moving out here. Someone had remarked that making such a huge move must be doing wonders for my writing, and I had to tell her No, not at all.
What's stopping me?
Ack, another question!

Spring Break

I saw Watchmen and Coraline (3-D!) during Spring Break, and I actually liked both a lot. They were a little long, but really good. I had just finished reading Coraline when I went to see the movie. I seriously expected the kids in the theater to start crying. It isn't what I would call a kid's movie. Unless they're weird kids that really like horror, like I was.

And I was introduced to Rock Band. If you had told me I would want to play that game and wish I had one for myself, I would've called you a liar. But you're not a liar!
I like to think I took away some semblance of musical instruction, especially after spending so many hours playing, but I know better: they aren't real instruments, no matter how high my score. I do know that I suck at drums and like bass ... in the game.

Another little tidbit is I might be moving from one place to another. A lot of people say moving sucks, but I think I need something different now. After eight months, yeah.

Economy

You know it's a bad sign when your boss is working on her resume.

Climbing the Walls ...

I feel like I'm the only schmuck/student working today. Not only is it Spring Break, but I gotta keep my mind occupied, too. And my head already feels like it is splitting open.

I must say, I've never had such the feeling of climbing the walls like I have the past week or so. I can't concentrate enough to read but a few pages, so I've been watching tv. I force myself to go outside and play with my dog. Oh, I do wonder what she thinks of me lately ...
I call home to get reports from my mom about how the family is doing. I decided not to fly home for the funeral. The money issues are too much.
I know I moved far away from home, but nobody expects something like this to happen.

On a lighter note, I received another request from a friend to be his baby-momma. Yes. Another request to procreate with him because, well, why not? He did list other reasons, but there's no point in listing them here. Apparently, my age is suppose to make me very desperate to this request.
I was polite in my first response. This second response included the words "never" and "stop it" and something along the lines of "It's MY fucking LIFE!"
He wrote back about how selfish I was, how could I do this to my parents (not giving them a grandkid, I guess), and what an empty life I lead.
What a fucking life, indeed.
In the morning, he sent two emails with apologies, but I'm done. Seriously, done.

The Bad News ...

Karla didn't win Top Chef.
On Thursday, my stomach hurt so much I left work. I believe I am working on getting myself an ulcer.
I'm not moving into a new place in May, after all.
One of my cousins died. He was only 21.

Ugh. There's not much I can say to that last bit of bad news, except sometimes it's unbelievable how much this world really sucks.

To counteract the bad/sad vibes:
I'm over Karla not winning.
I'm taking a lot of Tums and cutting back on chocolate and coffee.
I'll give my apartment a real cleaning tonight.
I'll write, same as I've been doing, in a never-ending quest to understand this world.

Been Awhile ...

Since it's been awhile since I've blogged, I'll wait until the next blog to write the more sad stuff that's happened since then.

I've finished The Corner, which is actually a very good book. Unfortunately, it reminded me of certain family members, but I suppose I shouldn't get into that. I jumped on the Internet to find out the latest on D'Andre, who seems to be doing alright in life.
I've started Coralina, which should be an obviously quick read. Should be, but I'm soooo slow!

I went on Facebook the other night and posted a Note in which I offered to make homemade "anythings" for the first five people who responded. Since it was late, I didn't think I'd get responses until the morning. Uh-uh. Those five slots filled up quick.
I guess I should remind those five people that they, in turn, have to offer to make five anythings for their first five, or else they don't get anything from me. A kind of pay-it-forward, if you will.

My parents are coming to visit in May. Yay!

Weird Day

So far, weird day.

This morning at one of my jobs, a mother stopped in to say she wanted to be with her son while he had an appointment. Mind you, a college-age guy whose appointment was already half over. The mother became hostile and finally said that he has learning disabilities. So she got to sit in with him.

Then I get a call from a man who isn't and never was a student of the college I work for, but he wants help because he doesn't have internet and if I could look up body removal or mortuary transport services and get a number for him that would be great. I explained we help students with resumes, cover letters and job searching, but I'd give it a try. I couldn't find a number for him and I was thoroughly creeped out. Thankfully, the phone call ended soon after.

Next up: tutoring elementary-age Baltimore city school kids. Yesterday, out of four students, two threw their books to the floor and a third gyrated against a computer. ALL mouthed off.

This day should continue to be interesting.

And I have the Top Chef finale to look forward to tonight!

One More Blog in Before Class

Today hasn't been such a great day. I can tell by how hot/red my face feel. Arg!
I'm trying to rearrange some things in my life, and maybe being frustrated/anxious about that isn't helping the heat recede from my face.
Blah.

The only thing I can remotely think of to write that might be somewhat interesting (and that I can share with the public) is about Top Chef. The finale is this Wednesday and I guess out of the three left, Stefan, Carla and Hosea, I'll root for the underdog, Carla. She quirky and has a new-age mentality where she puts love into her food and a smile on her face, even when she's working in the back kitchen. Colicchio (a chef and judge) doesn't buy that kind if philosophy, but it seems to be working for Carla. She's in the finale, isn't she?
As for Stefan and Hosea, they should just whip out their junk and measure already! Damn.
My mom has this theory that Fabio was kicked off because the show needed an "asshole" or bad guy character around, so the judges kept Stefan. Maybe that is the case. A television show will do anything for ratings.
And a small little rant about that new British judge. Unless he's actually eaten cat food, he shouldn't be allowed to say someone's food tastes like cat food. Dumbass.

Cutting it close ...

So I've realized that I need to expand more on my project (number of pages and links) and that's a little hard because it's so simple. Basing my project on a song is funny, but I'm afraid that I might be dragging it out too much and it'll turn annoying. Maybe not.


I found some pictures of the puppet that Prince plays with in the movie. I'll be damned if they aren't selling copies of it on ebay. Serious, what does ebay not have? But to put a point on what is scaring me about this project is trying to draw.

Draw?

Yes, drawing. Unless I photoshop all the pics (I might) I had the idea to draw this puppet. Simple, right? It should be! But I haven't even tried yet.


Maybe because I already have these images in my head and if they don't come out exactly right then I am immensely disappointed.

Yeah, I gotta lighten up on this, huh?

I can't imagine how I would be if I had stayed in graphics communication class. Geez.







P.S. YES!!!! Kate Winslet won an Oscar, FINALLY!!! She's the BOMB!!! And I'm glad Heath Ledger won. I wasn't surprised, but it was still kinda shocking to hear his family give speeches.

Hugh Jackman!

I know I should be talking about my project, but the Oscars are too damn funny! I mean, actually funny. And I've fallen in love with Hugh Jackman all over again. The man can do it all.

Okay, so about my project, I've decided to not use the Homestar Runner characters and instead use a replica of the puppet that Prince had in the movie Purple Rain.
I'm guessing this doesn't make too much sense at the moment, but it'll all come together soon. And hopefully that won't be too last minute. Evolution takes so damn long, I'm beginning to realize ...

Today I went to B&N and my cheap ass actually bought books! I didn't spend as much as my friend (think in the hundreds, seriously) but I got three books: Coraline, The Road and a collection of short stories by Baltimore writers called Baltimore Noir.
Not that I need any more books, for the sake of Pete.

And it's freakin' cold! Cali girl can't hang!

Wow.

Seriously, "Wow" when I realize that not much is going on with me. Except work, classes, homework, Gizmo, and trying to maintain some "normalcy" overall.

I'm completely revamping my EP project. I had this idea to draw crayon stick figures, but this morning the characters of Homestar Runner reentered my life.
And why not use them? The stuff is free online and they make silly pencil drawings themselves. Those who know about Homestar might find it funny. Those that don't know, well, who cares? When/if anyone sees my site, they'll just think I made up some funny-looking characters.

I like this idea and am very glad I still have two more weeks until presentations. Not that two weeks doesn't go quick, and if I put it into some real perspective, I'm actually a week behind. Good Lord, a month and a half is already gone from this year!

Blah.

Books

I finished What is the What by Dave Eggers and damned if I didn't cry near the end. It just happened and was unexpected, considering that I thought there was some melodramatic writing at times.

So I'm reading another cheery book The Corner by David Simon. Hey, it's Baltimore, and I wanna know. I think this book is already more hopeful than Homicide and I'm finding it hard to do homework instead of reading. Oh damn, what a dilemma, right? I want to keep reading because this book deals with people who haven't already been murdered and still have a chance at turning things around. There are even pictures of these people! I feel personally invested, which hardly ever happens.

Or maybe I'm just being uber-sensitive to everything right now.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and I made chicken taquitos with corn tortillas, as they should be made. It took the longest time to find freakin' corn torts!
Oh and the two things have nothing in common, it just kinda happened that way.

In This Day and Age, Modesty Still Exists

I ushered for The Vagina Monologues tonight. The show started at 8 pm and I stuck around outside the auditorium for another half hour for any stranglers. At 8:30, I packed everything up and took it into the sound room. When I came out, an older black lady was sitting far from the auditorium doors, near the elevators.
"Are you here for the show?" I asked, putting on my coat.
She smiled and nodded.
"Do you need a ticket?"
"Oh, I have one."
"But the show's already started."
I stepped closer, putting on my scarf and hat.
"Oh yes, I was in there." She shook her head. "I can't stay in there. I can't listen to that."
I didn't know what to say and I fidgeted with my bag.
"Them talking about body parts like that," she added, "I can't abide it."
I recalled the dialogue I had heard when I was stepping out: " ... I remember the first time I saw it, all red and wrinkly and shiny. I couldn't believe it ..."
"My husband brought me here. He's still in there. He can watch it, but I can't. I just ... it's too much for me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned?"
My mind tried to come up with something comforting and all I could say was "To each his own."
"Yes, yes!" She sounded so happy to hear that. "That's it exactly. To each his own."
"Good night."
"You have a safe one."

Room for a Little Rant concerning Little Dogs

I'd like to state that not every little cute dog is NICE or DOCILE. They do not want to be stuffed in purses or paraded around in any other degrading way a la the Hilton Whore.

I will never allow another stranger to tell me, "Oh, I know how to handle dogs" and then have to pull my dog away so a fucking idiot doesn't lose a finger.

YOU'RE NOT THE DOG WHISPERER!!!! I don't give a fuck how many episodes you've watched! And FYI, my dog is a rescue dog who was with two other families before I got her (don't get me started on them). I'm not perfect and neither is she. She has improved and I'm still trying my damnest with her.

So if you want to keep your fingers or nose, ASK PERMISSION before petting ANY DOG.

TRUST the owner if the owner tells you, "My dog is in training, please don't pet her." And don't you dare give that accusing look or I might bite you myself!

And for Christ's sakes, don't allow your rugrats to run up to any dog!! DON'T assume, because the saying is true: ASS=U+ME! Put your damn kids on a leash, if need be!

Thank you, and for those of you who already knew better, an extra kudos!

"Go then, there are other worlds than these."

Infamous line by Jake Chambers from The Gunslinger.

Anyhoo, I can't find anything more on hypertext and Forking Gardens. It keeps leading to some other college course outline or some student's essay.
I do like how I'm remembering lines from King's series and how they link up with Borges' ideas. So many other worlds and paths that your head would burst!
Standing on the shoulders of a genius ...

I took an easy way out for the second part of homework and worked a song into a circular path. I used to read the Choose Your Own Adventure books and I'd get a headache trying to figure out how many paths were possible.

It isn't hypertext, but it's books that Borges could've written, but didn't. Yeah.

http://www.themodernword.com/borges/borges_hexagon.html

He also had this to say about making up books:
The composition of vast books is a laborious and impoverishing extravagance. To go on for five hundred pages developing an idea whose perfect oral exposition is possible in a few minutes! A better course of procedure is to pretend that these books already exist, and then to offer a resume, a commentary . . . More reasonable, more inept, more indolent, I have preferred to write notes upon imaginary books.
-- 10 November 1941

Forking Garden path I

I can beat myself over the head for not blogging sooner, but what good would that be? I feel like I barely have a grip on this story as it is ...

"The Garden of Forking Paths" felt like the story itself could change at any moment, and the ending was a surprise for me. It reminded me of The Gunslinger series by Stephen King because at one point the characters are unpredictable and don;t allow the reader to know what could happen next.
And I'll state that one thing I simply cannot abide is King going back over his books and making changes to them, then publishing them again. WTF?? To "better" them? No, no,no,no,no,no.
Could you imagine what would happen if every writer was allowed to do that?!

So I thought I would look at the further end of my Google search and instead found http://www.dysmedia.com/. This artist Douglas Cooper has his work online: writing, photography, lectures. If I had to make a site to pimp my work, it would be similar to his.
Oh, and this: http://www.donniedarkofilm.com.

Okay, back on Forking Gardens. I found this link:

http://www.geocities.com/papanagnou/commentary2.htm

and it allowed me to click on highlighted words, which took me to different pages and sections of text ... but that was about it. I got bored rereading the story.
Hmph.
Will look some more ...

Work/Not at Home

I found this site after typing in "short stories" and I like it. The short stories are categorized and the website layout is easy to read. Pictures are shown next to brief descriptions of the stories as well as the page length and a rating system. Actually, two rating systems. One is for readers to give so many stars and the other is for Adult Content. Huh. I guess that's appropriate?
There's also word games!

http://www.short-stories.co.uk/


Bibliomania. The name alone drew me to it. This site is less flashy than the above one (lack of pictures) but the list of short stories is loooonngg. Yeah, like that long. It has a lot of old writers (Mark Twain, Anton Chekhov, O. Henry) while the link above has the newest short stories. The Bibliomania also has books, poetry and drama, and they're all Classics. Who can do without the Classics, right?

http://www.bibliomania.com/


Can I pause for a moment and just state the obvious? TONS of stories exist out there in this world. It's mind-boggling to fathom how my work can possibly stand out.

Now that I've gotten that depressing thought out of the way, let's move on! :)

So in my last blog, I rambled just a little bit, but I did mention http://www.salon.com/ and http://www.neilgaiman.com/. Salon.com gives the latest news as well as having an archive of its past published works. I guess I like it because my undergrad thesis professor Susan Straight has so much published on there.
And Neil Gaiman? Hell, he's Neil Gaiman! I'm mentioning him just because I can.

I gotta read Coraline before the movie comes out ...

A Bit O' Homework ...

Yes, delightful HOMEWORK.
Which, I guess I've decided to mix in with my regular blog. Though I don't blog much, so maybe that's why I made such a decision, still not sure if I wanna do that ...

I do too much stream of consciounessmuchnonsense with writing/typing ...

Anyhoo, the homework part. The site that comes to mind is a site I found by googling my undergrad thesis prof's name, Susan Straight. Turns out she had a story published in www.Salon.com. I read it, then read the other stories on that site. I hadn't returned to it for awhile, but it's stuck in my mind as a good one because it lead me to Gloria Steinem and her essays. Looking further, I became interested with her interview with Hugh Hefner (btw, I have never been able to get a hold of that entire interview). I guess I should add that I was watching Girls Next Door at the time ... I don't watch it anymore.

I must admit that I haven't ventured too many other places to find creative narrative online. It still strikes me as weird to type online and look up published stories, too. Though it is a bunch cheaper, and I always got cheap on the mind. Still, something about holding the paper ...

Umm, yeah. So, another place I found was www.neilgaiman.com.

...

Okay!! I didn't "find" him, but everyone should know him! Can't he count as a creative narrative? I mean, it's Neil Gaiman and he posts lots of stuff: pictures, videos, links to other sites. It's a narrative of his life and he's obviously creative.

Wow, I'm trying to overstep my homework bounds. And it's late for me. Or at least I'm this tired on a Saturday night.

I'm going to sleep before I realize how sad that sounds.

And I will have to come back to fix my links up right. How can I not know how to show links? ...

Weather

So I remember what I was going to talk about last time: the WEATHER!
Yeah, I know. Thrilling.
But this recently relocated Californian Girl is affected by this weather. I will admit that when my studio apartment didn't heat up after a half hour, I was worried about me and my doggy keeping warm. And when it started snowing, and kept snowing, I kinda freaked out.

My Tuesday night class was canceled, and I haven't had class canceled since I was in elementary school and the Santa Ana winds proved too rough for us Cali kids. I ventured out on Wednesday morning to the UB. I had work, by golly!
A skiddish iceland met me, nothing I had ever encountered before. My boots did nothing to that damn slick ice.
But those icicles on plants and tree limbs, though, that really got me. To see plants encased in clear solid water and to hear ice slam against pavement from a few floors up ... Yeah, you don't see that in Cali.

Hey There!

Okay, so I waited eight months before blogging again this time. I've been living in Baltimore since mid-August. I've had my ups and downs, obviously. In an odd twist, I keep finding that history keeps repeats itself, some of it good but a lot bad.

Here's to making it good again.

One strange recurrence that I will write about -


I started this blog on Monday the 26th and now I don't remember what I was gonna say. So I'll start anew.

Finish what I start, damn it!

If I remember what I was gonna write, I'll come back to it.