Dragging Feet ...

Stalling for time before I go to class. In the computer lab, second floor, a few feet away from awkwardness. Oh, who am I kidding? I feel awkward a lot of the time.  

I saw only one student in the classroom, that's another reason I'm stalling. 

The pressure is much more lifted, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Got one more class and two stories to turn in. 

I haven't eaten anything today. Just an Americano and Mtn Dew. Why is it spelt like that? In Cali, it's Mountain Dew. Now I'm seeing Mtn all over the place.

Yeah, that's a really stupid thing to blog about.

Now I'm just babbling, and that's never good because is going to be said that shouldn't. 

Going now!

Burned Bridges

I was IMing a friend last night about burned bridges. He and I dated briefly, then tried to be friends. Quite a few times we swore off on each other for oh-so many various reasons. We still talk after four years.
I asked him how we remained friends through all of it.
He said determination and perseverance ... or something like that.
I think we've such good friends right now is because we both moved far away from home for college and are going through similar experiences.

I'm usually not that person who remains friends after fights. I recently stopped talking to two other friends, one I knew for six years and another I knew briefly. Maybe I shouldn't be that way, but I wait until a tremendous pile of crap is made before I finally say, No more!
Maybe I shouldn't wait. Still, the crap piles up.
I'm in such a precarious position in life right now that I can only afford to make so many mistakes repeatedly. At least that seems to be my reason.

I guess I'm just amazed at how many bridges I've burned. Lordy lord.
And have no more ponderous on the matter.

Except that I've put a lot of "p" words in this entry.
Now I want to recite "Peter Piper," but will refrain.

Took A Chance ...

And yes, it involves a guy.
Every six months or so, I get the urge to take a chance on a guy. How does it go? Well, I've been single for three years.
There have been some guys that were interested, but I didn't return the favor. I'm not a total loss and I don't want to settle.
So I took a chance and the guy is already taken, but he appreciated my boldness. Still not sure how to take that except as a compliment.
I've basically been bi-polar about my action. Sometimes I think it is a good thing to be bold and take a chance. Then other times I wonder why I put myself out there like that. I mean, I've run into some assholes and have I got stories about them!
I guess I also realized that I have my guard up most of the time. That I give off the "Mind Your Own" vibe. And it takes awhile before I let that vibe calm down and bother with my looks again. It's such a long while because I forgot why I have that vibe up. It's what I attract when the vibe isn't there that brings the vibe right back: weirdos, pervs and nerds.
Sorry, but it's gotta be said.
And I have no right to lament that NO ONE asks me out. How can they when I have that vibe? When I let it down just long enough to take another chance and then shields are activated again.

So it's occurred to me that maybe I should be aware, but not self-cornered. I can take a chance on a guy but I can't allow chances to be made?
I sense some change here ...
And does anyone else have that Abba song in their head? I apologize.